Defining Normal in an Abnormal World
Written by: Claire Watt
June 2025
Photo credit: Avik Nandy
Firstly, I want to emphasise that the intention behind this piece is not to accuse, not to judge, or incite any ill will towards anyone. My intention is to encourage deep thinking and to potentially build bridges via deep reflection.
Is conflict just a normal part of human nature?
You do not need to go very far to see conflict. Social media or the 24-hour news cycle give us extensive coverage of every corner of the modern world. I am talking about a different conflict, one closer to home. It has become embedded in our society. You can see it in the street, at work, the shopping centre, your local gym, everywhere. This conflict like every other conflict in history does not discriminate between the guilty or innocent. the innocent often being the ones who pay the heaviest price in place of the guilty.
This conflict has been waged on various groups in society for time immemorial. No one is immune. This conflict has been described as a culture war, being stoked by the fires of insecurity, misguided fear and misinformation. In modern Western society, previous targets have included the freed slaves, immigrants pre/post world wars, religious ideologies, sexual orientation just to name a few. While my community has been under attack for many years, recent years has seen the transgender community become a significant target, with us being attacked now by world leaders of the ‘free world’.
There have been countless well written accounts shared by people of diverse background of their victories and success, to surviving some of the most horrific atrocities humans have ever committed against themselves. Some will hear these accounts and be inspired, some will relate. But many will not, taking the attitude of “I am not affected”, or “these people are (insert random stereotype, insult or slur). “They are not normal like us” they will exclaim with anger and malice.
But what is “normal”? What creates the anger and malice? What true crime have minority groups committed against the majority that necessitates they be labelled “abnormal” or “subhuman”? Does this mean we do not deserve the same human rights that the normal take for granted unconciously? Are we truly born less then human, destined to be the subject of anger and hate? Let’s examine this in the context of human behavoiur.
A cruel truth, it is a universal experience to not feel good enough and judged regardless of someone’s identity or culture. That birthday party you were not invited to. Your crush breaking your heart. Being told you are not good enough by the ones you hold dear. The crowd that laughed when you fell. That time you stumbled over your words at that party. Embarrassment, shame and fear sink in. Your chest tightens; your breath becomes shallow. You cannot handle this! Its too much! You feel exposed. You want to run, hide and disappear. But you perceive the spotlight is you. Everyone else seems to be doing better than me! Why does this happen to me?
Then, your salvation appears before you. Someone who looks different, talks different, and does not conform to the idea of normal society programmed you! “Look at them!” you cry with glee. The crowd turns, you feel the spotlight shift, your breathing eases, you relax slightly. “I may have embarrassed myself, but at least I am not like them”.
A perfectly normal reaction to solve a normal problem you might believe. But is it normal? And does it actually solve your problem or simply allow you to avoid facing your own emotions? You walk around with a clenched jaw. Your body is permanently exhausted as if you ran a marathon each day. You feel unsettled, you explode at the smallest inconvenience. You stress about having enough to pay rent. You are constantly scrolling social media, looking for the latest meme, a distraction. “This is just how life is supposed to be, I am just weak” you say, believing this is part of a normal life.
At what point did it become “normal” to live permanently in survival mode and suppress our emotions? What point did it become normal to store decades of built-up stress in the body? When did it become normal to believe that we have no control over the way we think and speak about other people? When did it become normal to show you are strong by attacking those who are far more vulnerable then you are? Does blaming minorities for everything wrong in your life magically make everything perfect and truly bring you inner peace? And perhaps the most important question: If my community did not exist, who would you blame next for all the problems in your life?
I am not arrogant nor ignorant enough to claim that there is any community group that is completely devoid of individuals who have never committed some crime against another person. But I do believe that the individuals generally tend to be appropriately punished and that the entire collective does not deserve to be stigmatised because of them. Viktor Frankl in his book ‘Mans Search for Meaning’ (inarguably one of the most important books ever written) clearly states the truth of this concept of ‘collective guilt’. He attests that how an entire culture, race etc are vilified for the actions of individuals, and the long-term harm it causes to the innocent. It also does not consider the innocent ones who also stood against injustice openly. Viktor Frankl was a Jewish prisoner during the Holocaust, and is one of the most powerful examples of someone who through lived experience saw the harm of collective guilt.
Minority groups are exactly that, a minority of the greater population. We are underrepresented in the media and almost always demonised for the sake of likes. Almost all the media exposure we get is when there has been a perceived injustice committed or when we are campaigning for the same freedoms you take for granted. Being a minority, we are an easy target, many of the population do not see us face to face in the real world, only in carefully curated content in their phones echo chamber. In a globalised and digitised world, we are an excellent political distraction from the true problems in the world.
What are these true problems? War, Genocide. Depletion of natural non-renewable resources. Famine. The ever increasingly threat of nuclear war. Poverty. Homelessness. Inequality. Overpopulation. Drug addiction on a massive scale. Authoritarianism. Pollution of natural waterways. Unsustainable farming practices permanently destroying fertile lands. Loneliness. Climate change.
Amongst these issues how has any minority group directly and solely responsible for their creation? Or have these problems pre-existed long before we came into existence? If we tried to go backwards in time, is it possible to pinpoint when these problems really began? And the big question; Have the self-labelled “normal” population solved these problems by themselves?
The greatest innovators have always been people who challenged traditional normal ideals and gone on to contribute to the development humans. They have come from various backgrounds and cultures. But the one thing they all had in common. They saw that something in society was not working or they had a dream that they refused to let the normal stop them from achieving!
It would be naive and unrealistic to believe that we can live in a world in which everybody accepts everyone else in a matter of years. It is realistic to believe that we can reach a point where we can appreciate that while we may not like someone. We need not fear them unless they are posing an actual imminent physical threat to us in that moment in time. While we have no control over our early life experiences and the beliefs we are indoctrinated with in our younger years, we have the capacity to grow and change in the face of new information. This may be hard to believe for some but think about it. If we did not possess this ability to learn from dangerous experiences and adapt, how long would we survive? We are not born from day one hating other people, it is learned. Ask a one-day year old child if they hate a particular group. “But they can’t talk!” you say. Valid point. Ask them again at the age of 5 and ask yourself if they are repeating what you say or if they have the capacity to form their own opinion.
It has become clear that traditional forms of advocacy have limited potential for change. Who can yell the loudest, has the most outrage, who belittles the other side the most have been regarded as the normal ways to get results. But I raise a question. Has anyone ever felt good about belittling someone else. Has anyone who won an argument this way felt a sense of peace or spent the rest of their life looking over their shoulder, constantly on edge that someone would topple their fragile house of cards? There is far greater potential to advocate for a more tolerant world through genuine diplomacy based on empathy based on acknowledging (not agreeing with) multiple viewpoints to find the middle ground.
Will everyone be open to this? Perhaps not. But does that mean it’s not worth trying?
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